Festivals

I'm from a small town that is almost literally in the middle of nowhere.

I've always been an introvert on top of that.

I've been depressed for awhile now. I am not 100% sure of the cause. I'm not home-sick. I don't have a past "home" to miss.

Last month we had a long break from school at the end of the semester. This month we're having another long break because of Chinese New Year.

Maybe I've had too much free time from an uncertain job. I don't know.

This week we've been really busy. Seeing family, seeing friends, doing this, doing that. Really very little time to just let tension out. It's difficult for me.

Siew is an extravert and I love her all the more for it. Sometimes, however, this causes some relationship strain between us. Arguments that 2 extraverts or 2 introverts wouldn't likely have. But I'll be damned if I'd accept anyone else but her ever. I really love her.

Today there is a big festival outside. It started at 12pm and ends at 12am. It's been really loud and hot and busy. Siew has been having a lot of fun dashing outside to watch events!

I'm really sensitive to noise and crowds and I feel like I'm having some sort of anxiety attack. I don't think that's totally the case, but I think I don't do well, yet, in these environments.

More people have been walking past our parents' home than live in my entire home town!

I'm really trying to get used to this, but it's going to take time and effort. A lot of effort.

It doesn't help that I've been having depression fits this week and the end of the week has this big bash that's going to keep me up late and giving Siew and I something to have argument about that we don't need.

I just hope she won't stay mad at me.

I have to teach tomorrow, but it's going to be a late night.

At the end of the week we have mandatory training that will consume my entire weekend and we don't get paid for it. It's going to suck.

I have my return to school tests ready for my students. I warned them, because of the break, that I am going to give them a test over EVERYTHING in the book when they return on Monday. I wanted them to have fun on the break, but I also want them to focus on studies as well.

If anyone has any tips for me to try and deal with my personal issues, please post it in a comment. Otherwise, have fun laughing at me.