I'm an Asshole

I'm really being an asshole tonight.

My mood is complete shit from all of the other things, and a combination of stresses that are building up inside me that I am having a hard time controlling.

I feel even worse now. I am really trying not to show my temper, or mood, to my wonderful wife. But I can't contain it.

She doesn't like to see me upset, it makes her cry when I am this way, which I can't take at all, so that makes me feel worse that I have made her cry.

Normally I'm quick to try and comfort her when she cries, tonight I haven't even tried. I'm an asshole. I'm just so frustrated that I can't see past myself right now. I shouldn't be this way, it's not right.

Sometimes when I complain about something she tries to help, sometimes the way she tries to help feels like I'm being treated like a child and scolded by an adult. That's not her intent I am sure, but when I'm in this sort of mood I'm more sensitive to things like that than I should be.

I'm really a fucking asshole.

I'm sorry Siew. I really love you more than anything.

I've been so bad off recently that I've even started entertaining suicidal thoughts again. Ain't that just fucking grand. Shit.

Ok, enough of this. I need to mellow the fuck out so I can stop being so rude to my wife.